“The more you focus on your own neediness, the more your desires will be christened as needs.” –Paul David Tripp

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” –Job 1:21

Sin runs so much deeper in my soul than I ever allow myself to believe. I am far more wicked, far more idolatrous than I am willing to admit. The last several months have been served to deepen my understanding of the nature of sin- how at the root of each and every sin is some lie I am believing about God/Christ/the gospel and how each sin is an act of worship, an idolatry, of something other than the one true God who gives to each of us life and breath and movement. Yet, even in this deeper understanding of the nature of sin (I am not merely lying; I’m saying that I would rather deceive than follow You. Why? Because I trust that your love & acceptance is more important, concrete, and satisfying than others’ approval), I fall abysmally short of a Biblical understanding of sin.

David Powlison calls us to ask, “Has something or someone besides Jesus the Christ taken title to your heart’s trust, preoccupation, loyalty, service, fear, and delight?” & follows by telling us that “the deep question of motivation is not ‘what is motivating me?’ The final question is, ‘Who is the master of this pattern of thought, feeling, or behavior?’ …People do not have needs. We have masters, lords, gods, be they oneself, other people, valued objects, Satan… Who other than the one true God, is my god?”

Powlison and Paul David Tripp both help to expose the overwhelming prevalence of idols in our hearts. Not only are idols these things that I give myself over to in obvious sins, but anything that I think that I need in addition to Christ. Powlison says, “’Need’ categories tend to replace biblical categories- idolatry, desires of the flesh, fear of man, etc.- which relate the heart immediately to God.”

The gravest danger in meeting “needs,” including our own (and especially in sharing the gospel), is that “change” may come through changes in externals rather than conscious repentance. For example, for someone who feels like a failure or who is bound in legalism or who is deeply aware of his or her need for love and acceptance, our sharing of the gospel may go something like this, “God accepts you just as you are. He has unconditional, never-ending love.” There is a ring of truth to this statement, but it falls so short of the true & complete gospel (and is anything less than the complete gospel a gospel?). The truth is that, instead of serving the true Christ, the god I worship is the approval/respect of people, both of myself & others. I am an idol-worshiper. I am not ‘motivated by a need for security/love/acceptance.’ I am motivated by a lust for security/love/acceptance rather than ruled by the one, true Lord.

Powlison writes, “The Gospel is better than unconditional love. The Gospel says, ‘God has accepted you just as Christ is. God has ‘contra-conditional’ love for you. Christ bears the curse you deserve. Christ is fully pleasing to the Father and gives you His own perfect goodness. Christ reigns in power, making you the Father’s child and coming to close to you to begin to change what is unacceptable to God in you. God never accepts me ‘as I am.’ He accepts me ‘as I am in Christ’… The true gospel does not allow God’s love to be sucked into the vortex of the soul’s lust for acceptability and worth in and of itself.”

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” –Matthew 6:25-26, 31-33

What, if it was taken away from me, would cause me to question Christ? What prayer, if it was never answered, would make doubt God’s goodness? What would happen to me if, like Job, I lost absolutely everything? How would I respond if I no longer had a house to live in? If everyone I knew suddenly despised me? If I lost a hand or my ears & couldn’t play music anymore? If everyone I knew and prayed for turned away from the faith? If I never saw fruit from ministry again? Where would my faith be then?

Is the one true God my God, or do I replace him with things I that I think “I need”? Is Christ truly enough for me? I am always making a choice. Every decision I make is either a choice to believe the gospel or to believe a lie, to glorify Christ or to give myself to an idol, to live in freedom or bind myself again to slavery…

This is why we must so disciplined in “preaching the gospel to ourselves.” When we grow impatient with someone, we must call ourselves to remember how Christ was & still is with us. When we struggle to meet with God, we must call upon the Spirit to enable us to remember what Christ went through to meet with us. When we judge someone, we must call ourselves to remember and be thankful that God withheld judgment from us before He called us to himself…

I am learning that the answer to all of these is an ever-deepening understanding of the gospel. When I am tempted to sin, when I don’t want to pray, when I wallow in guilt, when repentance does not come easy, etc. the answer is always to pray & ask the Spirit to humble me & remind me of the liberating, saving gospel…